i don't watch american idol, but...
...is it true the big fat black guy beat out the skinny white gay guy?
it's like the Clash of the Victimhood Titans. the irresistible force and the immovable object (literally! start eating at subway, ru...) no wonder only 1300 votes separated the two--and even those should be attributed to whatever quantum fluctuation it is that decrees whether or not schrodinger's cat gets his reprieve.
next season we'll have a harmonica-playing transvestite in a wheelchair vs. a rain-dancing native american bubble boy.
i'm tempted to feel good about the fact that neither of the contestants were exactly beating the modeling agencies off with a stick, but on further review all that proves is that there are yet a few more inches of slime american pop culture can wriggle down through before it hits rock bottom.
locdog bids you all a pleasant morning
PETA aligns with national socialists
correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't it true that the nazis saw jews as being no better than animals and hence felt justified in their experimentation/extermination programs? wouldn't that make this akin to throwing one's lot in with adolf and the boys?
boy, irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.
locdog sometimes wonders if there are any lines PETA won't cross
rightwing thugs terrorize commencement speaker
now here's a switch. new york times reporter and iraq war critic chris hedges was shouted down by sloganeers, walked-out on, and unplugged three times during a vehemently anti-war address to rockford college's graduating class. patriotic students were outraged by the speaker's disdainful attitude towards the bush administration's handling of iraq and expressed their discontent in no uncertain terms.
to be honest with you, part of me feels great about this story. this is the sort of treatment that conservatives routinely get whenever they dare pop their heads above their gopher holes in universities all across the fruited plains. conservative publications are confiscated and burned in places like berkley, conservative students are ridiculed by communist professors in places like duke, and when the university of georgia invited clarence thomas to speak at their law school commencement, they got protests and petitions from outraged students and faculty members who felt that "Having Thomas speak at a law school commencement is just as bad as if President Clinton were invited to talk at a divinity school graduation." so you'll have to pardon me if i find it difficult to work up much moral outrage over the fascist left in academia getting a taste of their own medicine.
that said, hedges was mistreated and i personally believe that the more rambunctious of his opponents ought to send him written apologies. why? because we're better than the left. we don't just say we believe in liberty and then establish cloistered little bastions of unimpeded ideology which we pretend are free. those students had a right to boo, and while i personally find slogan-chanting distasteful (ever seen a person look intelligent while chanting a slogan?) even that is acceptable in my view. as far walking out goes, hey, it's a free country. but when we start unplugging microphones and attempting to rush the stage as the article claims certain students did, we have gone too far. that's a liberal's tactic. we don't need to silence the opposition because our ideas are better than theirs. in fact, a smart conservative would have wanted hedges' rant shouted from the highest rooftop: let him hang himself and take all his liberal cronies down along with him. we take the bill of rights seriously because if given the chance to compete in the market place of ideas, we win. but more than that, we take it seriously because we respect the letter and the spirit of the constitution, the true constitution as the framers intended it to be. i just can't see thomas jefferson applauding the conduct of those students, and as such, they owe mr. hedges an apology.
why annika will fail spectacularly, and why that's good
if a poll was taken among the american left as to which activities they considered the most politically incorrect, golfing would probably rank a close second snuggled tightly between smoking and gun collecting. there are some things about the left i've never been able to figure out: why, for instance, do they consider jesse jackson an important person? but even a retarded monkey living in a cave could accurately predict the left's disdain for golf. what's to like about it? it's a pastime invented, pursued, and dominated by european men, stuffed with more class antagonism and caveman symbolism than a good neo-marxist could shake a pitchfork at. i'm reminded of that scene in joel schumacher's ham-handed PC-fest falling down where michael douglas excoriates two white-haired, ugly-pants-wearing, yacht club types for chaining up acres of land that could be used for public parks so that a "bunch of old men driving around in little cars" could play a silly game. that land belongs to the people, you bourgeois pigs. golf is the last bastion of The Man, the sole remaining refuge of imperialist domination. (besides iraq.) it's The North vs. The South, The East vs. The West, the aristocrat vs. the third estate. it's what you get when you distill capitalism, racism, and misogyny down to their bare essences. is it any wonder then that the new york times editorial page saw hooty johnson as the second coming of the tsars while saddam hussein was a hapless victim of imperialist aggression?
it should be equally small wonder that anyone knows--or cares--who annika sorenstam is. on the off chance you don't, she's an LPGA tour pro who's competing in this weekend's men's tournament hosted by the colonial country club. great name, huh? she will be the first woman to compete in a PGA tour event since 1945, and i use the term "compete" loosely. sorenstam will be crushed by the jack-booted heel of phallo-centric domination! considered a great ball-striker on the women's tour, sorenstam's 250 yard drives will leave her light years behind even the weaker roosters. she's got a good putter, and if you combine that with her tee shots, it's not hard to figure out why she's a leading player among the hens. but her irons are suspect and when her best attribute is exceeded by the most mediocre of muchachos, how can she hope to compete? it will taker her at least a stroke or two extra just to reach the green, and the best putter in the world isn't going to bail you out of that disadvantage magnified over the course of the tournament. don't pay any attention to the speculation on whether sorenstam can handle the pressure. playing professional golf is like kicking field goals in overtime in the super bowl on every hole: sorenstam wouldn't be a star, ladies' or otherwise, if she couldn't handle pressure. she won't make the 36 hole cut, but that's just plain ol' physics.
so now you know why she's going to get trounced. here's why it's a good thing: golf is supposed to be about golf, not politics. shame on the colonial, a mid-level tournament that doesn't draw big-name players like tiger woods anymore, for inviting sorenstam in a blatant attempt to drum up publicity by cashing in on all the masters nonsense. it's an insult to the great game of golf and every legitimate PGA player who earned his card through discipline and hard work, not a pair of b-cups. shame on sorenstam for accepting the invitation, both for the disrespect she's showing male golfers and for the coverage-hogging she's indulged in. it's a smelly brown stain on an otherwise brilliant career. and for what? to pretend that somehow this media circus is a victory for women's rights? feminists have long believed in "equal pay for equal work" but how that venerable shibboleth applies here is beyond me. if "equality" means that girls are just as fast and strong as the boys are, as this publicity stunt seems to imply, then sorenstam has dealt feminism a bigger blow than hooty johnson could ever hope to. whether you determine the successfulness of sorenstam's outing in strokes or gender politics, she loses. my hope is that her failure will leave a bad enough taste in everyone's mouth to keep this silliness from being repeated, and who knows, people may even start paying attention to golf not as a field for the battle of the sexes, but as a bunch of skilled people, ladies and men both, consistently doing impossible things.
locdog has seen stranger things happen
a graduation poll tax?
the "Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test" hullabaloo continues. a controversial proposal from the git-go, the FCAT (or “jebcat” to opponents) is making waves again and drawing pro forma charges of racism. here a local-yokel story from maimi-dade laments the racial statistics:
The group, led by community activist Bishop Victory Curry, who is the general manager of WMBM, says the impact of the test is being felt most among black and Hispanic students.
this may surprise you, but for once i agree with the liberals: the problem, obviously, is racism. let me see if i can help you understand why.
the one thing we know, the one iron-clad, unchanging, a priori universal social law is that, no matter what, racism is the cause of any and all ills in the minority community. it cannot be that these minority students are simply dumb. it cannot be that they are the product of dumb parents, or, more likely, single dumb teenagers who donated sperm and womb years before they should have. it cannot be that the communities that produced these ghastly statistics are themselves fundamentally flawed. that would imply personal responsibility--and don't even think about that. to dare suggest any of the preceding might be the case is itself racism. why? only white people are stupid. to suggest stupidity isn't limited to one particular race is racism.
an equally egregious misjudgment is to suggest that perhaps the statistics reflect some failing on the part of the schools. as we all know, the american public school system is fool-proof. with no need for further research, we can be quite certain the FCAT racial statistics reflect institutionalized bigotry since, just as failings in the minority community could not be to blame, neither could failings in the school. it could not be, for instance, that minority students with all of their credits and a 2.0+ GPA have those apparently adequate credentials because teachers rammed them through an ineffective public education system rather than really demanding they learn something. and even if this was somehow the case, the fault wouldn't lie with schools, but with the lack of adequate funding--and that most likely motivated by, you guessed it, racism.
in case you are skeptical of the merits of blaming racism at all costs, i should here point out the key benefits of this system. rather than the schools demand minority parents raise their kids and minority parents demand the schools teach their kids, both can avoid mud splatters by simply blaming racism. it's one of the few remaining absolute evils, it’s all-pervasive, and if anyone denies it's the problem then they themselves are automatically racists. the kids benefit by not having to take their test, thus ensuring that they are unleashed upon society at an obvious (and statistically verifiable!) disadvantage to white students, a disadvantage that would be crippling were it not more than offset by the fact that they feel so darned good about themselves since they can dress up in fancy robes and grab their diplomas right along side their "equal" white peers.
locdog is glad he could help
detour to middle east peace
in case you've lost count, this makes five palestinian terror attacks in a three day span.
if i didn't know any better, i'd say the terrorists aren't interested in peace.
tune into npr or any left-of-center media outlet and it won't be long until you hear someone speculate on how israeli recalcitrance will be the death of the road map. sharon won't be schooled and bush isn't about to rap him on the knuckles. if israel was helmed by a touchy-feely labor type, things might be different.
that's true. they'd be a lot worse.
assuming this latest string of bombings is a reaction to the road map, one shudders to think of the torrent of suicide-strapped maniacs that would be unleashed were there what the media would call a "man of peace" at the helm. the idea that terrorists fear harsh reprisals more than they do peace is rooted in the misconception that the various jihad groups are genuinely interested in establishing a palestinian homeland. but if one starts from the premise that the ends produced by palestinian terrorism are consistent with their true intents, the necessary inference is that a state of comfortable, predictable, and never-ending bloodshed is the desired goal. after decades of pointless, counter-productive bombings, how anyone could deny this--least of all yasser arafat, whose interests, as always, lie along an attendant path--is beyond me.
which is not to say that sharon is the wrong man for the job. as long as yasser arafat is alive, palestinian terror will never face a true domestic threat. any israeli leader who wants peace to be something more than a campaign slogan must be willing to do for the palestinians what they are unwilling to do for themselves: force peace. labor party types have good intentions but keep kidding themselves about arafat's desire for a state, and likud hard-liners all too often give the terrorists exactly what they are looking for. what's needed is a hybrid. an israeli leader devoted to the creation of a palestinian homeland, but who's willing to kick as much butt as it takes to get there. that's a rare combination. sharon has chutzpah, no doubt, but does he have the will to apply it in more constructive directions?
the parliamentary election of mahmoud abbas notwithstanding, the road map in its current form points the wrong way down a one way street. arafat and his terrorist henchmen don't want peace, and pretending otherwise is as deadly as it is unrealistic. but that doesn't mean that the ultimate destination is unreachable. what's needed is a detour: regime change. sharon needs to kill arafat like the terrorist mastermind he is and let peace begin. through terror, arafat is waging an undeclared war on israel--a war that could be ended in one swift, relatively bloodless decapitation strike. there will be a global outcry and a violent reaction from terrorists, but it would be nothing like the prolonged chaos precipitated by, say, exile, which would give terrorists the remainder of arafat's natural life to blow up jews in the name of national sovereignty--a much more palatable excuse than vengeance when it comes to the television cameras. in the end, what's left is a workable if not perfect plan for middle-east peace, a newly-potent palestinian prime minister who is willing to play ball (and probably more than a little grateful), and a palestinian people who are ready to move on.
locdog: armchair general, amateur cartographer, traffic cop